I'll Forget You
by briarrose19
Summary: A oneshot loosely based on the song I'll Forget You from the Scarlet pimpernel. Draco and Harry have a fight before the final battle, and Harry reflects on their relationship and his impending fate.


_Just a short story I thought up when I heard the song "I'll forget you" from_ The Scarlet Pimpernel_. It's my first story, hope you enjoy! Please review!_

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the Potter universe, and am making no money from this...JK Rowling owns it all.

_Draco's POV_

I don't know why I had said it, but now it was too late to take back those hateful words. It was as if someone else had taken control of my voice and was speaking through me; but I knew those spiteful words that had been uttered, for some part of me had believed them, selfishly held on to them as a fading hope. They were never meant to have been uttered, yet they had been. In a moment of blind anger where my mouth had been working fasted than my head, I had screamed at you, wanting to make you stay…

_"You don't have to be so God damned righteous all the time! Screw the prophesy! I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself! For once be the coward and walk away. I swear I won't stay with you, not while you're being so insufferably stupid, throwing your life away for people who care nothing for you!"_

It was fear that had made me say it; fear of being alone, of standing by and watching you die. I am nothing without you, can't you understand that? It was my fear of losing you that drove you away. While my own words had started the fracturing, it had been your words, the words uttered by your perfect lips, which had completed the breaking of my heart…

_"Then go. I can't help being what I am. I have no choice but to do this. If you can't understand that, then you never knew me, you never loved me. Go- just, leave me…"_

I felt as though I had died. What I had feared most of all I had brought upon myself. I was alone, you were going off to die and I was too much of a coward to stand by you in the moment when you would need me the most. I had lost you; lost the only man I had ever loved or who I ever would love.

_Harry's POV_

I watched you walk away from me, tears still shining on your face, and I wanted to call you back. I wanted to run into your arms and cry on to your shoulder, confessing to you how scared I was, letting you know how I wished that I could forget about everything, forget about the coming battle and simply disappear with you…but I couldn't. I had spoken truthfully when I had told you that I didn't have a choice. How would I be able to call myself a man if I walked away at this point? How would I be able to look at myself and not despise what I saw? We had always viewed some things differently. It was inevitable, you being a self preserving Slytherin and me being a stupidly headstrong Gryffindor. But our love had seemed to be stronger than those differences, drawing us together even because of them.

But why did those differences have to come to the surface now, why did they have to matter now; now, when I was so weak myself, so willing to give into my own fears? I stand looking at the door, praying that you will come back, but knowing that you won't. Things had gone too far this time and there was no erasing what had been said.

I would have cried but I had no tears left to cry. I would have raged but I had no will left to be angry. I slowly gathered my cloak to me and leave our room – no, our room no longer, just a bare empty place, devoid of anything, like my heart.

I walked out into the night with its black sky and lonely moon. I needed to forget you. Tomorrow I was going to meet my fate. Either way I will have lost you forever, what was one day sooner? I was prepared to die tomorrow, and now I wanted to die. There was no life left for me without you, and so I will forget you, when I die.

I will forget you; tomorrow I will turn and let you go. Without you to keep me warm, without your love to surround me, I grow cold. I'll strive to think of anything but you; not your eyes, your skin nor your smile. I have no choice left, not now when there was nothing I can do but forget.

I will forget you; I won't remember your arms that pulled me to you, holding me close to your body, close to your heart. I have to find a way to let you go. I can't let myself remember those magical nights of leaning in the dark above you, watching your face as you slept, knowing you were mine, completely and utterly mine. I'll forget about how much I loved you, about how much I cared for you, how much I needed you.

But oh, how weak I am! Every time I close my eyes, I see you coming towards me; my skin still tingles with the memory of your touch. The memories hurt but I have no strength to pull away from them. Pain is the only thing left I can feel. Your presents haunt me everywhere; I see your face in a window, I see your eyes in the night sky above me. I see you walking towards me arms outstretched to enclose me in your embrace. The image is so strong, so real I reach out to touch you, but my hand meets nothing but cold, unstable, air and your image fades into the darkness, leaving me alone and trembling. I can't stop the sob that escapes my lips or the terrible pain that grips my heart. I'm alone, always alone.

There's a part of me that can't let go, that clings on to you. It feels as though I've lost a limb. No, more than a simple arm or leg, those I could live without. This pain is more akin to having lost half my soul, had it wrenched from me and violently destroyed. I can't live without you… and yet I must. For one day I must forget you, put aside my pain and face the world. I can't let my thoughts drift to you, for it will only lead to more pain. What once I sought to warm my heart now burns me with its agony and despair. I am completely alone now. Now, I live only to die.

I will forget you. I have to find the strength to pull away from the warm glow that your light has brought to me. I'll forget you, Merlin, there has to be a way to let you go! I do not want you, I can't want you anymore, I can't need you anymore…yet still you steal each breath I'm breathing from me. A single thought of you makes me catch my breath in pain knowing you are no longer with me, no longer mine. With just a touch, you completely overcome me. I'm drowning in you; in your presence that still infuses my mind, my every thought, my every need…

And I let you, knowing that it will kill me. In that instant that seems to last forever, I can't care about the future, about my fate, but only about the loss of you. I let you overwhelm me and consume me, letting myself see nothing but your face, your eyes, your lips, letting myself feel nothing but your skin, your warmth...

Oh, I will forget you,

But only when I die…


End file.
